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Welcome to the Leadership21 blog, an ongoing conversation on mental health, civil rights and social justice. Posting on the blog are twelve young mental health advocates who comprise the L21 commitee, and anything goes--the personal, the political, the cultural, whatever! We hope that you'll check out what's here, and make some comments, and please know that if you're concerned about anonymity, you can comment anonymously. We hope that what you read, and what you contribute, will make you want to return regularly, because to our knowledge, there really isn't anything out there that has the potential to engage people on so many levels about mental health. But we need "outsiders" like you to make it grow into a robust, contagious online blog. So thanks for coming, welcome to the conversation, and please, pass it on--L21

Monday, May 21, 2007

A Friend In Need Should Probably Keep Away From Me


You'd think I'd be genius at handling friends who are going through tough times with mental disorders, since I've struggled myself, and since I'm generally genius about most things. In fact, I suck at it. I feel such tremendous impatience when a friend is in trouble. And as much as I am aware that mental disorders are not catchy, when it is someone I love dealing with them, my boundaries goes bazerk and I do feel myself getting anxious, depressed, agressive, etc. Last week, a close colleague revealed he was addicted to crystal meth, and another friend sat across from me for the fifth or sixth month in a row, completely depressed. I can say in full certainty, I was not helpful. Which makes me wonder: why am I such an A-hole? Do I have permission to be pissed at friends for not being healthy? Anybody else out there struggle with this? Anybody any good at it and wanting to share pointers? Please advise.

1 comment:

Wendy said...

Interesting post! I often think about the same things. I find myself in many situations trying to help friends and families with mental health issues. I know I sometimes miss the mark because I inundate them with information- research, referrals, website info, etc. I have to remind myself that the best way I can help friends and family members is to listen, be there, and meet them where they are. Some people like lots of information, some people just want to vent, and many people just want to know you are there for them. I guess I feel like there must be a “best practice” in how to respond in help friends- and that because of my work in the mental health field I feel pressure to share the most helpful information possible- but I know ultimately my responsibility is just to be a good friend and sometimes I am able to do that in the most simplest ways.