Dana's Post: sitting with difficult thoughts

My yoga instructor told me yesterday that this is the month of sitting with difficult thoughts. I had been doing a lot of that so here is one:

I have found my thoughts this month coming back again and again to what we give up to be "normal." I know normal is the wrong word, but I can't think of a better one. In many cases, this is the price we pay for taking psychotropic medications, not financially, but personally. I think often people forget that these loses are real. Or sometimes it isn't medication, but just a type of self-stifling that we do, to keep ourselves in check, to not let the seems show in the fabric of our personalities so that we can write that last paper, make that last phone call, finish that last article, be that supportive friend. It's often the people who love us the most who may forget we've lost something by only showing these versions of ourselves, the ones that are competent and sane and yes, normal, because they are so relieved that we are spared (and they are spared) from the more difficult aspects of differences.

re: Nature is nature's prozac

Lizzie, I know just what you mean. I spent Memorial Day weekend in Ithaca, NY with family. While it was lots of running around (and a six hour drive to and from Ithaca-Washington) there were still very peaceful and gratifying moments, like helping my family on the farm, truly "getting back to nature." I do miss that in my  urban life, and also returned with renewed energy to get in my garden, feel the soil in my hands, and de-clutter my life.

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Nature is Nature's Prozac

I've just returned from a weekend in Vermont with the man, and it really did wonders for my mental health---I know I'm stating the obvious here but the way we live so bombarded by advertising and media brings about a kind of low level hypervigilence that just is so freaking unhealthy. And the fargin internet just makes me totally scattered. I'm pledging to keep my life more simple, to bring a little VT to NYC, but who knows if I'll be able to pull it off. I think that the ability to relax is paramount to mental health---and as a culture we're just creating more and more toxins that corrupt relaxation---it just seems like everything corporate culture produces is at odds with simplicty and balance and moderation.

Sopranos Mental Health Extravaganza!

I am back with a Sopranos update! This most recent episode was simply the most entertaining mental health extravaganza I have seen. From A.J. attempting suicide, to another examination of mental disorders being passed down in families, to all of the mobsters sitting around a room discussing “problems” in their children, and finally the issue I want to blog about depression and its ties to tragic world events.

Before A.J. is rescued from the pool by his dad after attempting to take his own life the show focused heavily on him paying attention to horribly depressing world events. The last couple of shows have done this, but this show made it extremely obvious. A.J. talks about starvation, genocide and other issues ravaging our world. He is seen focusing on them on the internet and talking about them with his therapist. It appears the issues most people simply want to move past or don’t know how to respond to completely consume his world. The despair of depression can lead people to more easily relate to these stories. So it begs the question do people who suffer from depression focus more on tragic events than other people without depression or does focusing on the events lead to depression or a combination of the two? I feel it’s a large mixture of a lot of issues depending on each individual. What was truly sad was when A.J. stresses these events to his parents his dad quiets him. A.J. says, “Go put your hand in the sand.” To which Tony replies, “How about I put your %^@#ing head through a wall.” Unfortunately, this is a common response.

Why is it that when we don’t focus on world events, because of their depressing nature we often put our heads in the sand or when we do focus on them are threatened to have our heads put through a wall?

Oprah on Depression

Tomorrow Oprah is doing a show on depression--it's lorraine bracco plus the husband of a former supermodel plus a country singer who's wife committed suicide. I won't be able to watch the show, and that's probably OK. I find that Oprah can be kind of cringeworthy on depression---I don't think she gets it, or "gets it". I think Oprah thinks depression isn't real; I think she doesn't give enough attention to mental illness; and I think when she does give attention to it, she tends to sensationalize instead of inspire/inform. (She'd never treat the stories of overweight or abused people like she tends to treat people with mental illness). I hope at least one of you watches it and blogs about it. Also, I was on the Jane Pauley show with Lorraine Bracco and while she was a very kind person, I didn't think she came across as authentic or particularly informed. And I know she's being paid top dollar by Pfzier to talk about her depression. I find all of this, well, depressing. I really love Oprah Winfrey and her show---I watch it whenever I can and am with her on so many important issues---I have learned so much from her show and her example--but damn, so far she hasn't done mental illness in a way that feels right. Also, full disclosure, her people booked me a couple of years ago and then canceled the night before I was supposed to fly out because they decided they only wanted celebrities on their show about bipolar disorder. Which is just mad manners.

Healthy mind and healthy body

I know I feel good when I exercise. I also know physical exercise is good for our mental health and our brains. I’ve read this has to do with the release of endorphins; and levels of serotonin, dopamine, and norepinephrine related to exercise. Mostly I just know I feel good when I exercise. However, I don’t exercise when I don’t feel good. Right now it is spring and I have been successful at making exercise a priority in my life. But I wonder- can I sustain this cycle of physical fitness positively impacting my mental health which in turns reinforces my motivation to exercise?  I think the answer is my establishing exercise as a coping mechanism especially when I have times I feel anxious or am not feeling well and not wanting to exercise. Unfortunately, this coping option will have to battle the strong urges to sleep, watch bad TV, or just veg when I am not feeling mentally up to par.  

 

A Friend In Need Should Probably Keep Away From Me

You'd think I'd be genius at handling friends who are going through tough times with mental disorders, since I've struggled myself, and since I'm generally genius about most things. In fact, I suck at it. I feel such tremendous impatience when a friend is in trouble. And as much as I am aware that mental disorders are not catchy, when it is someone I love dealing with them, my boundaries goes bazerk and I do feel myself getting anxious, depressed, agressive, etc. Last week, a close colleague revealed he was addicted to crystal meth, and another friend sat across from me for the fifth or sixth month in a row, completely depressed. I can say in full certainty, I was not helpful. Which makes me wonder: why am I such an A-hole? Do I have permission to be pissed at friends for not being healthy? Anybody else out there struggle with this? Anybody any good at it and wanting to share pointers? Please advise.

Made up mobsters with accurate mental health depictions

I wouldn’t say I’m the biggest fan in the world of the Sopranos. However, I have been watching the last couple of seasons. It’s a really entertaining series, but I’ve been most interested in their depictions of mental health issues. I would never say their examples are the most positive in the world. I will say they’re probably the most accurate I’ve seen in a long time. For those of you who don’t watch I won’t go into the whole history of the show as that would take way too long, but the past couple of episodes have really hit the nail on the head. I’m going to use some names here that people who don’t know the show may have no clue about, but it’s my only option. Chris who is Tony’s (the head of the family) nephew has been struggling with addiction for a couple of seasons. He went sober a while ago, but had been taking major criticism from everyone for being sober. In a moving scene he explains to Tony that both of his parents were addicts and that it’s in his genes. He tells Tony of all people he should understand, because of all of the mental health issues in his family and the fact that Tony has been going to therapy. More on Chris in a bit. Tony has a come to Jesus moment after the conversation when his son A.J. hits such a massive depression after his fiancée breaks up with him that he can’t get out of the house. Tony tells his therapist that it’s his fault, because it’s his genes. Now here is where it turns a little negative/realistic. Tony and his wife try everything to get A.J. involved in things to come out of his depression. After all of their efforts fail Tony suggests A.J. starts hanging out with his friends who are gambling and going to strip clubs. A.J. starts self-medicating pretty hard core, but the masking does get him out of the house and Tony’s wife is amazed at the progress. Again I’m not saying it’s positive, but it happens a lot. The show creatively portrays this incident in a way that makes you think about what 20 year olds are doing today to deal with mental health. Another poetic scene is A.J. talking to his therapist in pretty much the same way his dad does showing again the cyclical nature of these issues. But the dramatic depictions don’t end there. Chris has enough of being picked on for being sober and decides to have a drink. He continues drinking and eventually goes back to heroine and cocaine. One night he is driving Tony while he is high and they get in a bad accident. As Chris and Tony sit next to each other at the bottom of a hill, Chris tells Tony that he needs to help him get out of the driver’s side because he’ll never pass the drug test. Tony looks in the backseat and sees Chris’s heroine tie off in the baby seat. He then proceeds to get out of the car and Chris asks for his help again. Instead Tony holds Chris’s nose shut causing him to choke on his own blood and die. It’s a tragic scene with symbolism ranging from Tony being tired of helping to Chris already being dead by falling off the wagon to the lack of understanding on these issues and so many more. It’s just refreshing to see how deep the Sopranos is willing to go with their depictions. Positive or negative their depictions are better than most shows I have seen. If you haven’t seen the episodes watch them or get them on DVD when they come out.

Today in Yoga

Today in Yoga my teacher read a passage from this book--name I can't remember of course. And I'm paraphrasing here, but the passage was basically like this: each of us is different, and so however we respond to the world is going to be totally unique, and it isn't our business to judge what comes out of us, or to wonder if it'll be good enough or better than what's out there. It's simply our business to keep letting it out. Let it out people!

a feel good article

http://www.mercurynews.com/news/ci_5880576

I found this nice article about a 30 yr old in cali finally graduating form college after losing years to bipolar disorder, and thought you might like to read it.

Luxury Wellness

So I've been doing travel writing since September, and I was thinking of persuing a story that I have since abandoned about luxury spas that offer education and enlightenment. I've changed topics and now I'm writing about cooking classes at resorts, because so many of the luxury spas and resorts offering education and enlightenment freaked me out. There's a bunch of spa trends that I think are sort of unsavory--first, that rehab is becoming glamourous. All of the bug young celebs go or have gone. Lots of spas I looked into offer detox packages. And some of the fancier rehabs look like resorts and offer resort like activities. Second, that resorts are marketing wellness to people who are unbalanced with "experts" that are often life coaches or gurus. And there is a very pricey set of "medical spas", that's what they're called, where actual doctors are on staff. Having spent much of my youth perilously close to being forced into a mental hospital, I didn't desire a vacation at a resort that errily reminded me of one, which is why I'm writing the cooking story instead. And of course, in terms of the problems that plague the mental health community, this one is a pretty low priority. It's more often the case that mental illness is stigmatized than glamourized. But glamorizing mental illness is just the lesser of evils. These luxury trends have a way of permeating the culture. And I think luxury wellness packages for people whose lives are unbalanced undermines the utterly unglamourous work of recovery, and obscures the illnesses themeselves. Oh, and the picture? That's me at the great wall of china.

blog people

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