Posted by Lucy
Yesterday I met with a deaf woman who told me that she didn’t go to a therapist for her PTSD symptoms because she’s not “one of those crazy people” – signed by waving the hands around the head with a disgusted face – and I refrained from scolding her for having such scorn for people who experience mental illness.
A little over a week ago a person in the mental hospital informed me in a very loud voice that they were not “a retard” and wanted a new roommate that [didn’t have a developmental disability.]
An hour ago a would-be law clerk contacted me about writing a paper about state law requirements to report abuse of persons with disability that trump the privileges of lawyers, clergy, and social workers, requiring them to call in to the state any abuse of a “person with a disability.” This law would require me to report it to the government were a deaf client to tell me in confidence that her boyfriend had hit her!
Why is it that many people with disabilities are constantly trying to distance themselves from being lumped together with other disability groups? I always assumed it was the pressures people with disability confront in society that cause them to push harder on others perceived to be “beneath” them. But could it be the law itself – our own legal category of “disability” – that causes my clients to distance themselves from one another time and again?
Is the law the REASON these groups are at pains to distinguish themselves from each other?
I just spent the morning at the computer store, frantically trying to figure out why my 6-month old, kinda expensive, laptop stopped working this morning. Who knows. But while there I got to talking with the employees, who asked me what I do. I explained Active Minds, and they asked me if my work has anything to do with the shootings at Virginia Tech. Yes, I said, in that we are addressing mental health issues among college students - but no, in that we don't actually know what the young man at VTech was suffering from, and most importantly, that the vast majority of college students who are on campus living with a mental illness are actually no more likely to be violent than those without, and if they are, the likelihood is greater that they'll be a risk to themselves than anyone else.
After saying that, the first thing out of one of the technician's mouths was "Yeah, this guy was nuts. But it's the roommates' fault. They wouldn't even talk to him, of course he did something stupid." I came back saying that the roommates did what they knew/thought to do, that this incident was no one's fault and is not a typical threat on campus, and that we just need to use it as a learning opportunity to figure out where the pieces didn't fit together. And I absolutely believe that. But it got me thinking about the bigger issue, which is one I feel so passionately about...the role of friends and other peers, especially in young adult mental health.
In hindsight, Mr. Cho's roommates could be looked upon, along with many other people, as potential factors; but in reality, are we ever really taught what to look for in friends and peers, how to interact with them in a way that is supportive, and when far is too far and that we should keep pushing them into professional help? How can we place blame on anyone, when no one is taught the proper way to talk about these issues or how to encourage others into help? Sadly, that blame is often self-inflicted and felt by friends and family members of people who take their own lives. But in our society, we do not grow up being taught the words to use or the actions to take when worried about a peer or loved one. So how is anyone supposed to know?
