Why Isn’t the Journey My Destination?

It’s a saying we hear all of the time and one that has plagued my life for as long as I can remember. The Journey IS the Destination, well as you can tell by the title of this blog it isn’t for me. And I am not talking about not only not enjoying the process of getting somewhere or going through some life change. For me the destination consumes every thought I have to the point where I only focus on what step is next rather than even acknowledge there is a journey involved on any level. The journey typically slams me over the head after a destination is reached and my emotions explode into a major breakdown. Certainly not the best way to enjoy the journey.

This past week my girlfriend and I moved from Berkeley, CA to Venice Beach. After we arrived in Venice we were talking about why my mind constantly does this. One of the most obvious places to look is coping mechanisms from something else. Well, I do have bipolar disorder and a good 6-7 years of my life were spent never knowing what would happen next. To cope with the disorder I put myself in an extremely tight structure, where almost every minute of every day was meticulously planned out and obviously that contributes to just focusing on a destination. In a true full circle moment on Sunday I called my dad, much like everyone else, and asked him if he was having a good father’s day. He told me that he has a lot to be thankful for, but so much has gone wrong in the past that sometimes he has trouble being happy for fear of being let down and tries to stay focused on his goals rather than the moments. Hmmm he was like this my whole life, so maybe environment also affects my journey problem. Obviously there are other factors that play a part in this mindset as well.

I have identified the problem, so the next step is to deal with it. I am working on that. I am so close to not feeling the need to walk down escalators! I think one of the biggest things that helps me is that my girlfriend of 4 and a half years lives for journeys. She loves the process of things and really does appreciate a side I don’t often see. This helps balance me and our relationship. My mom is actually the same way with my dad. So that makes a little sense. I started doing yoga to stay a little more in the moment rather than having 4 million thoughts running through my head and will continue to find other things I can do to try and help see the journey a little more. I was wondering if anyone else struggles with this and what you do to make your journey the destination? Also no matter what side you’re on, have you thought about where it comes from?

"Language Matters"

With all that's been in the news recently, I thought this might be of interest to people:

http://community.webtv.net/stigmanet/STIGMAHOMEPAGE/index.html#16jun07

Alison H.

Sinead O'Connor

This is a link to a totally fascinating article about Sinead O'Connor and her bipolar disorder. Who knew. All I can say is that even though I'm (almost) totally beyond the struggle, I still feel so touched to learn that someone I really admire also has bp.
http://entertainment.timesonline.co.uk/tol/arts_and_entertainment/music/article1916518.ece

Now SHE is someone who could be our celebrity partner.....

The Unspecified Condition

So first, here's a link to an AP recap of what's happened to Paris.http://www.cnn.com/2007/SHOWBIZ/TV/06/08/paris.hilton.ap/index.html. In brief, she was arrested for DUI, caught twice driving on a suspended license, sentenced to jail, released home after a few days because of an "unspecified medical condition" and then put back in. The above pic is her going back to jail. Nobody is saying what the unspecified condition is yet but people are hinting at something psychological. Oh. It sure is hard to know where to start with this one--First, I think it's as high as 80% of women in prison suffer with a mental illness. And research shows that prison is not a place to recover wellness for most of them, either. But I highly doubt that the impact of all this is a re examination of the mis use of incarceration. Second, I've always thought that paris had a very modern, yet to be classified illness, which is like a pathological and addictive need to expose herself to humiliation and recover. It's like a form of media bulimia, a binging, a purging, but we're all involved. The armchair psychologist in me would guess that at an early age she was shamed and traumatized--probably sexually--and that she is passing her entire adult life returning herself to the scene of that crime so that she can release herself from it, but, of course, doing nothing of the sort except damaging herself more and more with every go. I would have more empathy for whatever is ailing her if she wasn't also the emblem for our culture's celebration of emptiness. Her singular talent is building fame and wealth. That her ascent in the media corresponded with the ascent of the war against terror is not a coincidence---she's part of what distracts us from meaning, responsibility, and agency. Third, if they do announce her medical condition, and that condition is mental illness, we in the sport of mental health awareness might have to referree.

Spelling Bee Winner

When you have a minute, watch this interview btwn this year's spelling bee winner and some lady on morning television. I saw an equally painful one between him and Meredith Viera, where Mereddith Viera came pretty close to snapping at him. and I cannot figure out: is this kid purposefully being rude; or does he have some kind of aspergers? Is he missing social cues because of his arrogance or might he have some kind of disorder? Watch the video till the end. Thoughts?

http://my.break.com/media/view.aspx?ContentID=308035

Stigma, VTech, and our Elected Officials

I recently came across an article in a local newspaper that scared me. It scared me because the stigmatizing attitudes it conveyed - attitudes, I know, that are not unique - came from an elected official in a small town. While those of us in large urban cities often plug into politics and politicians, I know that there are a lot of people who look to their elected officials to shape their thoughts. In the least, it is these elected officials who are shaping policies.

The article I'm referencing is: Gun bill targets mentally ill in KnoxNews. It quotes Rep. Frank Niceley, a Republican from Strawberry Plains - and opens with him saying "Right now, you can get out of a mental institution in the morning and buy a gun that afternoon. I'm a so-called gun nut, and I think that's just wrong." The article goes on to convey continually more stigmatizing views: "Niceley said he sees it as arguably more important to provide mental illness records than criminal records. 'A criminal may rob you and may shoot one person,' he said. 'A crazy person may be trying to set a record for how many people he can kill, like at Virginia Tech.'"

While the author of the article does a good job at balancing Nicey's quotes with those of NAMI, a national mental health organization that explains that people with a mental illness are no more likely to be violent than those without; his quotes, and his attitudes, are harmful enough. We elect officials into office because we feel they can best represent us, our opinions, and our needs. How do we make sure that they are the most educated on any given topic they can be? I wouldn't be surprised if someone who didn't already have that stigmatizing view has it now, as a result of the crass words of one elected official.

Is choosing a prescription drug the same as choosing a brand of shampoo?

Posted on behalf of Wendy McLaughlin

Surely you have seen the plethora of commercials and print ads for prescription and over-the-counter drugs. On more than one occasion I’ve been sure I have Irritable Bowel Syndrome, Joint Inflammation, and Depression from the ads. These ads give me the same emotional appeal for the prescriptions as shampoo ads. Don’t you want to feel like the woman walking out of the elevator after having been “finessed” or get that incredible shine from Pantene ProV? In 2005 Nexium was the third best selling drug in the world. It is used to control stomach acid.

Have you ever tried to talk with your doctor or pharmacist and really tried to understand which medication is “better” based on risks and benefits. I find this extremely challenging- no matter what the medical concern. Don’t get me wrong, I want each of us to have access to the most current drugs appropriate for our condition and be well informed as active participants in our health care. But where do we draw the line? How do we ensure that we receive effective communication about the risks/benefits and most current medication available to us? As you know this problem has been around since the mid-80’s when the FDA lessened restrictions on drug company advertisements. Should I be surprised that we still have newsworthy incidences almost weekly where medications are prescribed inappropriately (not the intended use of the drug) or marketed incorrectly?

The FDA just announced a new advisory committee to address risk communication. You can view the press release here: http://www.fda.gov/bbs/topics/NEWS/2007/NEW01648.html .

This is an opportunity for the FDA to explore and report on how they communicate information about the efficacy, safety and use of drugs. I feel good about this- and believe we should support these efforts. Some drug companies report similar efforts to develop voluntary guidelines for advertising. However, I really struggle with the fact that pharmaceutical companies spent an estimated $1.9 billion on TV advertising in 2005. Most countries have banned direct-to-consumer drug advertising; the United States and New Zealand are the only countries where this is legal.

Does talk therapy help a "psychopath" like Tony Soprano?

Ok I know it was hard enough to lose Bobby and Sil in 20 short minutes let alone think about the possibility that talk therapy may not help psychopaths or anyone, but it’s an issue that needs to be addressed. I have to admit it has taken me a couple of days to even start processing what happened Sunday night and there’s a lot that happened, but I am only going to focus on Tony being a psychopath. It seems there has been enough outrage about his therapist Dr. Melfi Leaving him, and the unethical leaking of who she was treating at a therapists’ dinner by an even more disturbed therapist, so I’ll leave that alone.

For the past couple of episodes Tony’s therapist has been hearing from another therapist that studies show talk therapy doesn’t help psychopaths and that it indeed will only give them an opportunity to test their manipulative skills on someone else and in some ways reinforce their psychopathic behavior. Now we have to keep in mind that the Sopranos aren’t real people. However, a quick Google search did turn up that the study that is quoted on the show is real, which leads to an interesting question.

Anyone who watches the Sopranos for a couple of episodes can clearly see that Tony is emotional both in and out of therapy. The aspects that he identifies in therapy are things that he talks about outside of therapy and becomes more aware of. I would never say becoming aware of them leads to him making efforts to change anything that happened to him, but that isn’t different from a large majority of people who go to therapists. In my opinion a psychopath and I think I have only met one (and I hope she doesn’t remember me or isn’t reading this) doesn’t necessarily go through all of the effort to cry and talk and go to a therapist to locate where these thoughts come from only to test out more of their psychopathic side. I mean it’s definitely possible for some people to do, but I don’t see the psychopathic qualities in Tony. I may be just like the rest of millions of people in this country, especially guys, who have fallen into the trap of glorifying gangsters and viewing what they do more as a job that’s part of a disturbed side of life rather than psychopaths, but to be honest Tony has done more work in therapy than most people I know! He shows regret, he feels pain, he expresses concern for others and when he isn’t in the mob job mode does breakdown, which to me isn’t “normal” psychopathic behavior. If we examine Tony’s past for a brief second he isn’t much different from a kid raised by a father who is in a gang and doesn’t know a way to get out, so he constantly fights, and possibly kills as a part of the nurture/nature problem. Can that lead to being a psychopath? Sure. But again it’s the feelings Tony shows that lead me to believe this may be more of a “job” and other environmental factors like power contributing to making his behavior acceptable rather than him simply being a psychopath. Maybe he has manipulated me!

My whole problem with his therapist deciding to no longer see him based on a study that said talk therapy may only reinforce psychopathic behavior is that I am not convinced he is one. And I don’t think his therapist necessarily was either. When anyone hears their therapist is refusing to see them it can lead to further isolation and result in even more dire circumstances. I think that is what was going on in his therapist’s mind when she closed the door on Tony. The fear that cutting him off would cause him to do more drastic things and the larger fear that maybe the years of all the talking and her hard work didn’t do anything were written all over her face. So I am sure everyone had thoughts as they were watching his therapist close the door on him after all of these years and I want to know do you think Tony is a psychopath and if you do what are your thoughts on all of his talk therapy and his therapist leaving him?

Why Lindsay Bothers Me

1. Because I think she is actually talented. And talent makes me care about people. And I hate caring about addicts.
2. Because her mother, her publicist, and her lawyer are at the top of a long list of criminal enablers. Lindsay will end likely end up addicted and destroyed, and they'll end up rich.
3. Because she does influence young people and she does glamourize addiction to them.
4. Because the media pays more attention to her than to political corruption, poverty, healthcare, the war in Iraq, and education.

Does Lindsay Bother You?